The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
