Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
