So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
