Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
