I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize