My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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