i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
