Apparently you make a good broom.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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