He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
