CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
