There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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