Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
