whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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