Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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