ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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