3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
