yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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