his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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