the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
In other news, I just burned my penis
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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