We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
