Even the bartender felt bad for me
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
