guys are only as good as the porn they watch
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
