I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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