This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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