she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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