So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
