Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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