haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
