Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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