is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
