just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
