Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
