this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
