dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
