Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
