this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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