chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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