and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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