mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
