I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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