My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
tell me about the fingering
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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