She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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