Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
