Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
