i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
