I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
