Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So here I am, sexting at work.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
