Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
