his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize