I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
