hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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