Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
