He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
