Duck Duck Cougar?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We're too hungover to prance.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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