She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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