I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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