so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
