I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
