someone get that fucking seahorse.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
