You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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